


A different kind of deep dark

by MaryTagus



Series: Not all is bright colors and rainbows [6]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryTagus/pseuds/MaryTagus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow up on “How I long to see the streets”. </p><p>Felicity is home, in a wheelchair. Resting his head on her lap Oliver embraces the dark he as fallen into. This time with the rest of Team Arrow as firm supporters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A different kind of deep dark

The pain had been soothed leaving a trail of emptiness, a feeling of void Oliver couldn’t even begin to deal with. After a period of good comfortable life the boat accident and the Island had introduced him to a level of pain he often found unbearable but he had survived. He had survived it all, getting up and readying himself to fight. This time was different. He knew he would survive, but fighting wasn’t the way to win this, there was no win to be had only a reality to be coped to be accepted and, for the first time of his life he felt useless.

Months ago he would be considering a trade that would allow him to use the Lazarus Pit, he would sacrifice himself only to see her out of this wheelchair. Not that she would allow it, not that there wasn’t a real risk on using the Lazarus Pit on her and the real possibility that maybe he would allow her to stop him but he would be willing to do it. For her.

But now not even his sacrifice would change things. The Lazarus Pit was useless, Nyssa had see to it. And he was left empty, spent, with no more to give.

“It’s okay.” Her fingers through his hair wished to be calming and soothing but they weren’t, they just made him rebel even more against the all situation, against the Ghosts, against Darhk, against himself for not being able to keep her safe. He felt the familiar tension building up inside of him, spreading through all his muscles, through every fiber of his being.

She must have felt it too for her fingers hesitated on his head just for a bit.

“It’s not your fault, Oliver.”

He knew better than that. Why didn’t they staid back in Ivy Town? Why?

“If it wasn’t for you we would both be dead.”

A flint stray thought crossed his mind “Maybe I would be better off.” But he tossed it out immediately, chastising himself for even thinking it. They wouldn’t be better off they would be dead. The city would be almost defenseless as would be Thea, and John, and everyone else.

“Oliver?”

There was concern weaved in this simple word he had heard a thousand times.

“I’m here.”

He suddenly felt cold, she wasn’t touching him anymore. He knew it was her way to have him look at her but he didn’t want her to see. He didn’t want her to see how far into the dark he had gone. He knew dark, and even he wasn’t ready for the dark pit he had fallen since the day he knew Felicity was paralyzed; it took him by surprise how fast he was enclosed in it. And this time he had supporters, Jonh, Thea, Lance, they all wanted to do want ever it took, they all wanted him to do whatever it took, no matter how dark, no matter how irredeemable they would all be in the end. There was only one person that he was sure wouldn’t agree, Felicity herself, and he didn’t want her to stop him, which she would if she knew.

Oliver struggled to conjure images of happier days in an effort to conceal his real thoughts, before turning to her.

“Don’t.”

He didn’t say anything. He refused to lie to her. Conceal, maybe, yes; lie, no, never to her.

“I’m alive. I will get better. New tech is being developed every day. I will be okay. We will be okay.”

He felt her hand warm on his cheek. He reached for it, taking it between his own and to his lips.

“I love you. I’ll do anything for you to be happy.”

Still holding her hand he pull it down and rest his head on it keeping it firm on his hands and between her lap and his head.

“Then be happy yourself, Oliver. That is all I need.”

At this moment he aimed for numb, as he felt pain too unbearable and happiness out of his grasp.


End file.
